Stories Should Never End

I have a problem with endings. Novels, TV dramas, movies - endings annoy me the most. I'm a largely tolerant man, liberal by leaning, prone to walking away from an argument, not raising my voice even if I'm in the right. But endings.

When I was a kid, my favourite TV show was one of Gerry Anderson's puppet shows, called 'Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons'. The premise of the show was that Martians were threatening to invade the earth. The only thing standing between them and invasion was 'Spectrum'. This was an organisation much like the CIA, FBI, MI5 and MI6 rolled into one. Yet they were based on what looked like an aircraft carrier that floated in the clouds.

Captain Scarlet was one of Spectrum's agents doing battle with the Mysterons. The enemy would kill people, then take over their bodies to bring the world to its knees. Captain Scarlet was once captured by the Mysterons. But he managed to escape. Yet the experience changed him. He became indestructible. Literally. And everybody knew it. It was in the theme song. Towards the end of most episodes, Captain Scarlet would foil the Mysterons but die in the attempt. Then one of the other agents, usually Captain Blue, would stretch out a cheeky grin and say, "I don't think we've seen the last of him."

I loved it. Until I realised the show's fatal flaw. Captain Scarlet couldn't die. It was physically impossible. Shoot him, stab him, drop him in a vat of boiling tar, smother him with bubble wrap, forget it. The Mysterons had carried out some experiment on him and he couldn't die.

I don't know how old I was but I realised that this was a problem for me. Maybe it was a sign that I was growing up. But what was the point of a drama in which you knew a very important part of the outcome from the beginning? So I stopped watching it.

I started watching Hollywood movies. James Bond films were the best. I liked Sean Connery. He was all that 007 should be. But then I realised that, hang on, James Bond never dies either. Of course, he has to go through hell (though strictly speaking he should die first to do that) but bullets glance off him and occasionally penetrate him. Yet he soon recovers.

I moved into my teenage years. I watched other films. And would you believe it, the hero never died in those either. It's not important in every book or film. It's mainly a problem in thrillers or action adventures. When I pointed this out to my friend, he said that it's the journey that's important. But who cares about the journey when the destination is so prosaic. In those circumstances, the better the journey the more of a tease that's never fulfilled with an inventive arrival.

So, what am I saying? Should the hero bite the dust? Take the fall? Lick the gravel that lies six feet under? Yes, occasionally. Look what Hitchcock did in 'Psycho'. He didn't even wait till the end. He killed off the main protagonist of the film's first reel a third of the way through the film.

Okay, I get it. I understand that the world might well be a miserable place if all our heroes ended up not saving the world, not riding off into the distance on the back of their trusty steed, silhouetted against the sunset. So what's the compromise?

I liked the way they ended the Sopranos. Everybody expected a dramatic finale after so many years, maybe a bloodbath like Scarface. But Tony went for a meal with his family. They sat down and ordered. A couple of the other customers went to the bathroom. And that was it. Roll credits. Inventive, satisfying, unexpected and very real. Okay, Tony didn't die. But nor did he triumph. Somewhere in between.

There are other ways to end stories too. You can go down the rou... urgh... umph...

(Unfortunately we have to report that Mark was is unable to finish this article. He was shot in the back of the head by a masked intruder. We hope he would have approved.)

Mark Capell is the author of 'Run, Run, Run', a novel available from Amazon and Amazon U.K. It has a very original ending.